


Walk slowly together for our tomorrow

by CreateOwnHell



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Becoming Friends Again, Confused Emotions, Eventual Romance, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Making Up, Medium Angst, Multi, Mutual Pining, Not Proofread, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reconciliation, Slow Burn, Suffering, but first we suffer to get there, its kyunnie after all he is weird and i love my weird son, its not as dark as the few last tags make it seem i just felt like it had to be mentioned, jihun is an oc lmao, kyunnie and hyunwoo are troublemakers, other pairings maybe - Freeform, sum crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-17 18:06:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15467034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreateOwnHell/pseuds/CreateOwnHell
Summary: If you asked Changkyun, why did he keep a picture of Hyunwoo in his drawer he would say ‘’I don’t know.’’ And shove it back into the dark corner.it has been a well over 4 years since the last time he saw him.Some people are meant to stay in your life, and they will make their way back to you.





	1. Chapter 1

‘’Yah hyung come on, get up you promised me you would make me ramen before we left for school.’’ Changkyun pulled the blanket off a sleeping body.

The cold instantly hit Hyunwoo, but it wasn’t enough to make him move. He kept lying there unbothered.

‘’5 minutes.’’ Hyunwoo mumbled into his pillow. He shouldn’t have played games with Changkyun until 3 am. But he has never been good at telling no to him. The regret hit him like a ton of bricks. What he wouldn’t do for an extra hour of sleeping.

Hyunwoo was thinking and slowly drifting back to sleep. Already forgetting about his hungry friend.

Then he felt a weight on his stomach, but he kept ignoring it. Changkyun is being very persistent. He kept his eyes closed.

‘’Hyung I will count to 3 and you better start moving or else.’’ Changkyun threatened but his voice held a mischievous tone, which Hyunwoo would have noticed on any other day had he been alert.

‘’1.’’

‘’2.’’

Still no movement from the sack of potatoes under him.

 A cup of ice cold water was dropped on Hyunwoo’s head and that water kept sliding down his neck onto his back.

‘’I AM UP I AM UP.’’ Hyunwoo yelled as he got into sitting position.

‘’Good.’’ Changkyun laughed until his stomach hurt, no hint of being sorry about what he did.

Hyunwoo wanted to be mad, but he couldn’t, Changkyun’s laughter was contagious.

‘’You are a terrible friend.’’ Hyunwoo said and let his head hit the pillow again, but there was asmile on his face.

‘’Oh don’t even think about going back to sleep, is this how you treat your guest, by letting them starve.’’ Changkyun looked at the figure under him, with the raised eyebrow, judging him slightly.

‘’It’s a good thing you are not a guest, you already almost live here, make your own food and then make me some.’’ Hyunwoo glanced at the younger.

‘’But yours is better’’ Changkyun tried to bribe him.

‘’Of course, it is, I’ve had years of practice because of you.’’ Hyunwoo smirked.

‘’Oh fuck off, you love making me food don’t deny it.’’ Changkyun got up from the bed and made his way to the kitchen, and not soon after Hyunwoo followed putting on his school uniform.

Changkyun was sitting behind the table, playing on his phone, all the while Hyunwoo was cooking their breakfast.

Nothing else was said between the two of them until Hyunwoo broke the silence by announcing that the food is ready.

Hyunwoo placed the pot and plates on the table and Changkyun kept shoving food down his throat like a ravenous animal.

‘’Don’t forget to breathe between bites, you’ll choke.’’

‘’Oooh choking.’’ Changkyun laughed and slurped the noodles happily.

Hyunwoo smiled and ate his food in peace.

‘’Should we skip?’’ Changkyun looked at the time, they were already 20 minutes late.

‘’I don’t that’s a good idea.’’ Hyunwoo said calmly, while cleaning the tale, gathering up the dishes and putting them in the sink.

‘’You say that, but I don’t see you being bothered about being late and hurrying up to get to school.’’

 

‘’Where is that Hyung that was very timid and shy and a model student?’’ Changkyun dramatically asked, his hand over his heart.

‘’He met you.’’ Hyunwoo said nonchalantly, but the corners of his lips rose up.

‘’Are you saying I am a bad influence?’’ Changkyun poked Hyunwoo’s sides.

Hyunwoo didn’t answer that, but the smile on his face spoke volumes.

He definitely doesn’t regret becoming friends with this troublesome boy.

 

Despite their earlier plan of skipping school, they still went.

The school was only a 5-minute walking distance in reality, but they always walk that road for half an hour, dragging their feet, and making detours, exploring the streets.

‘’Hyunwoo swung his arm around Changkyun’s shoulders and pulled him to the street of the main street.

‘’ Wha-‘’ Changkyun started to ask, but Hyunwoo clasped a hand over his mouth.

Hyunwoo shushed him and pointed to a group of people at the end of the street.

 

There was the group of guys Changkyun always got in trouble with, because of his mouth, and it was Hyunwoo s job to keep him away from them as much as possible.

Changkyun understood him. Because every time he got into the fight with those guys, it was always Hyunwoo who had to patch him up.

Few days ago, Changkyun fucked up and he has been steering clear from them until things settle down and the thing has been forgotten.

 

The voices got louder as the group got closer. Hyunwoo had pressed Changkyun against the wall, while he stood in front of him, chest to chest.

The group passed by them without noticing two guys in the corner.

Only then did the two of them let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding.

When Hyunwoo decided it was safe to leave, only then did he release his hold on Changkyun.

‘’Phew, that was close.’’ Both said at the same time, and they started to laugh.

‘’I don’t know why I am friends with you.’’ Hyunwoo mused after the laughter had settled down.

‘’It’s because I am handsome.’’ Changkyun winked at Hyunwoo and fluttered his eyelashes.

‘’Yeah, that’s why you don’t have a girlfriend, right.’’ Hyunwoo said and walked away fast before Changkyun understands what he said.

He was a good few steps ahead of him.

‘YAH!’’ Changkyun screamed when it hit him. He sped up and jumped onto Hyunwoo’s back.

Hyunwoo caught him and kept walking, carrying his friend on the back.

‘’Who doesn’t have a girlfriend, hmm?’’ Changkyun asked and tapped Hyunwoo’s head.

‘’Don’t tell me…?’’ Hyunwoo was curious now. Did Changkyun get a girlfriend? When? Who? Why didn’t he tell him? Why did it hurt him?

‘’Of course not, I am busy annoying you’’ Changkyun said and pinched Hyunwoo’s cheeks.

For some reason the fact that Changkyun actually doesn’t have a girlfriend, made him happy, but he didn’t know why.

 

 

‘’Fucking finally. Why are you two always late?’’ Minhyuk sat on Hyunwoo’s table, eating a choclate bar and offered it to him, but Changkyun grabbed it from his hands and ate it himself.

‘’Doesn’t Hyunwoo feed you enough Kyunnie, I bet he is starving because of you, he needs to eat.’’ Minhyuk tried to get the chocolate back from the other.

‘’You are just jealous that hyung doesn’t cook for you.’’ Changkyun flipped him off and ate the chocolate inhumanly fast.

Minhyuk made a disgusted face at him.

‘’I see the trouble duo has finally arrived, late like always.’’ Hoseok sat in his seat, next to Hyunwoo.

‘’You going to the gym today? Take that puppy of yours too, he needs some muscles if he decides that picking fights with the humanity is something he wants to do for the rest of his life.’’ Hoseok glanced at Changkyun and then back at Hyunwoo.

 

Whatever Changkyun said to Hoseok, he completely ignored and turned his attention to his phone.

 

Changkyun sat behind Hyunwoo, so whenever Changkyun fell asleep in class his hand would always reach out to him, as to make sure he was there.

 

‘’Changkyun, wake up, the lesson is over.’’ Hyunwoo shook the boy a little.

‘’What do you want to do today?’’ Hyunwoo asked, while packing up his things.

Changkyun did the same and shrugged his shoulders. He doesn’t really care what he does, as long as he gets to be with Hyunwoo.

‘’Sooo gym?’’ Hyunwoo said slowly and observed Changkyun’s reaction to that, which was comical.

‘’Why do you hate me?’’ Changkyun said and fell dramatically back on his table.

‘’Come on try.  Maybe you will like it. Also, I don’t want to listen to Hoseok talk about his crush again. I swear to god I am this close to stabbing my eardrums.’’ Hyunwoo laughed.

‘’Hoseok has a crush, oh that’s cute and now I need to go so I can make fun of him.’’

 

 

‘’I didn’t think you were going to come. Miracles do happen.’’ Hoseok said and continued working out.

 

Changkyun sat on the bench. ‘’Alright I’m tired.’’

‘’But you haven’t even done anything.’’

‘’Seeing Hoseok’s face tired me out.’’ Changkyun said and leaned his back against the wall behind him.

 

After that no words were said, both Hoseok and Hyunwoo did their routines and Changkyun was on his phone playing god knows what game.

He glanced around the room and his eyes stopped at Hyunwoo.

He has never actually seen Hyunwoo work out, and the sight of it now, made him stop breathing for a moment.

He must have looked startled because the next thing he heard was Hyunwoo’s voice asking if he was okay.

 

‘’Uh… yeah, just thinking.’’ Changkyun almost stuttered those words out.

‘’Okay, I will finish soon then we can leave, I’m sure you are hungry.’’

 

Changkyun couldn’t tear his eyes from Hyunwoo. And he doesn’t know why. He was just mesmerized.

He looked good. Of course, Changkyun knows that his friend is a good-looking guy. But why did his heart feel funny when looking at Hyunwoo now like that.

 

 

‘’You going to stay over tonight as well?’’ Hyunwoo got out from his bedroom and headed over to the couch where Changkyun was already sitting and pulled out the game controllers.

 

‘’Nah, I’ll go home, I am staying over too much, I feel like I am bothering you and your parents enough already. You can’t even masturbate in peace because of me.’’ Changkyun laughed.

‘’Oh my god, leave now.’’ Hyunwoo shoved Changkyun off the couch.

‘’Are you that horny, hmm? Little Hyunwoo hasn’t had any attention because of me. Oh that’s sad, Alexa play Despacito.’’ Changkyun grabbed Hyunwoo’s crotch while laughing until tears formed in his eyes.

‘’You are insufferable.’’ Hyunwoo pushed Changkyun’s hand away and attacked, holding his hands together and tickled him.

Changkyun was laughing and gasping for air. ‘’I’m sorry please stop, hahahahah.’’

Hyunwoo stopped and let go, but not before flicking him on the forehead lightly.

‘’You are an idiot.’’ Hyunwoo’s voice was full of affection.

 

They played for a few hours until Changkyun got a text message and he dashed out of Hyunwoo’s place without saying anything.

 

 

He didn’t even show up to school the next day. Nor did he answer any of Hyunwoo’s calls and messages.

Hyunwoo was worried out of his mind.

It was getting dark when he reached his apartment and noticed Changkyun’s figure standing beside the door, looking away from him.

‘’Where were you?’’ Hyunwoo asked taking steps closer to him, only for Changkyun to flinch away.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Hynwoo asked.

But there was no answer.

Hyunwoo reached out to Changkyun’s head and turned it to face him.

His blood ran cold when he saw the bruises on his face and the swollen eye. His lips still had dried blood on them.

Hyunwoo guided him to his bedroom and sat him down there.

Changkyun didn’t say anything, nor did he protest. He was almost lifeless.

Hyunwoo got out the medical kit he kept in his room specially for Changkyun.

 

Hyunwoo knew exactly where these came from. If he had fought with the school gang, he wouldn’t have so many bruises on him and even he did, never on his face.

He cleaned the wound on his lips and Changkyun proceeded to sit there emotionless.

He flinched a little when Hyunwoo cleaned the wound under his eye.

‘’Have you eaten anything?’’ Hyunwoo asked.

Changkyun only shook his head a little.

He got up and heated up yesterday’s food and made some rice.

 

After eating, Hyunwoo told Changkyun to take a shower and stay over at his place.

Hyunwoo found some clothes and went into the bathroom.

It’s not like they have anything to hide, they are both guys anyways.

Hyunwoo wanted to leave the clothes on the chair and leave but he stopped when he saw Changkyun’s naked backside, and how bruised it was. Dark blue spots covering his skin.

‘’I got you some clothes.’’ Hyunwoo said and left.

He heard a faint thank you from Changkyun.

 

Hyunwoo was laying in his bed when Changkyun came out of the bathroom, drying his hair with the towel.

He sat on the edge of the bed. On the side where he sleeps whenever he is over at Hyunwoo’s.

Hyunwoo got out the hairdryer and dried Changkyun’s hair, slowly massaging his scalp. Changkyun enjoyed it. He loves it when Hyunwoo runs his fingers through his hair, because it calms him down.

He was slowly drifting to sleep, he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. Sleep was taking over, he didn’t even realize that he fell on the pillow like a log.

Hyunwoo looked at the figure next to him. Glaring at the injuries in his face. Hoping they would disappear every time he blinked his eyes. But they were still there.

Hyunwoo pulled a blanket over Changkyun’s body and tucked him in. He brushed the hair away from Changkyun’s eyes who leaned a little into his touch. Even though he was asleep, he still could sense security in this touch.

Hyunwoo let his hand rest on Changkyun’s shoulder and closed his eyes as well.

‘’I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.’’ Hyunwoo whispered, his heart hurting for his friend.

 

 

 

When they got up the next morning, Changkyun acted like the last two days hadn’t happen. And If that’s what he wanted, Hyunwoo wasn’t going to bribe. Not yet. He will give him a little bit of time off.

 

‘’Kihyun is throwing a party. Yah are you listening to me. We gotta go and crash it. What do you think Changkyun?’’

‘’Is he the dude with that obnoxious attitude and he thinks he is better than anyone else? WE ARE SO GOING.’’

‘’No WE are not Changkyun. He is friends with principle’s kid Hyungwon. I don’t want to make school harder than it already is.’’

‘’Why is he so boring? Let’s go there, steal some alcohol from them and throw our own party.’’ Minhyuk kept talking and planning.

Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get a little bit alcohol into Changkyun’s system. He tends to be more open about his emotions then, and Hyunwoo really needed to talk to Changkyun about what happened the other day.

‘’Fine, we go there, steal couple of bottles of beer and make a run for it.

‘’I wonder if the Hyungwon kid will be there?’’ Hoseok asked from no one in particular.

‘’Why? Are you in love with him or something?’’ Minhyuk made disgusted faces.

‘’Ayooo Changkyun!’’ Someone yelled across the class.

It was no one other than Jooheon, the kid class lower than them.

‘’Sup bro.’’ Changkyun bumped his fist with his friend.

The two started talking about something the others didn’t understand even when they tried.

Hyunwoo zoned out of the conversations around him and focused on Changkyun’s voice. It was full of life and laughter, he fears the day he won’t hear it again. But for now, he will enjoy it to the fullest.

 

 

‘’What the fuck are you doing here?’’ Kihyun spat out, when he noticed Minhyuk smiling eerily at him, trying to step into the house.

‘’Aww don’t be like that Kihyun.’’

‘’Get the fuck out of here who invited you.

But the moment he saw Hyunwoo his whole stance changed.

‘’The rest of you can come, but Minhyuk stays out. ‘’

‘’See ya later Minhyuk.’’ Hoseok and Changkyun said in unison and made their way inside.

Even Jooheon was basically like, see you later dude, don’t be mad.

‘’Hyunwoo you are not going to leave me out here in the cold, alone are you?

‘’Sorry Minhyuk, I gotta look out for Changkyun.‘’  Hyunwoo laughed, not feeling sorry at all.

‘’This betrayal.’’ Minhyuk cursed, when the door closed in front of him.

Few seconds later, the door opened again.

‘’Hyunwoo made me feel bad about leaving you here, get in, but if you cause me trouble I’m killing you.’’

‘’Damn your crush is really showing. Too bad he will never look at you though. So it’s better you give up now. I would know.’’

Kihyun looked at him confused and acting like he doesn’t have any idea what Minhyuk is talking about. But then he heard the last sentence.

 

‘’Let’s leave!’’ Changkyun pulled Hyunwoo by the arm and out of the door they went.

They walked for 5 minutes until Hyunwoo finally asked where they are going.

‘’Remember that abandoned building by the bridge? We can’t go to your place, we never know when your mom could come home. She already doesn’t like me much, I am not going to add more to it.’’

Hyunwoo didn’t say anything after that.

 

They were getting tipsy already. Laughter echoing in this empty building.

‘’Why do you not have a girlfriend Hyunwoo? You are a handsome nice guy, girls are dropping themselves left and right.’’ Changkyun laid on the ground, head resting on his hands that were behind his neck.

‘’I take care of you so much, you are already filling that girlfriend spot.’’ Hyunwoo said it so seriously. There was a silence for a few seconds before it was ruined by the both of them laughing so much their stomach started to hurt.

‘’You would tell me if you started dating someone right?’’

‘’Are you afraid that I will push you aside when that happens?’’ The smile that was previously on their faces, was gone now.

‘’I don’t have anyone else besides you. You are my best friend Hyunwoo.’’ Changkyun turned his head, looking away from Hyunwoo.

This was Hyunwoo’s chance.

‘’If I am your best friend Changkyun, then tell me, what happened at home.’’

Changkyun seriously had hoped that Hyunwoo had forgotten all about it, but he should have known better.

Hyunwoo waited patiently for Changkyun to start talking.

 

‘’Father was drunk… He was hurting mom, and I got in between, to protect her, taking the punches and it angered him more. Said if I fought back then mom will get double the beatings. So, I just laid there letting him go at me.’’ Changkyun explained.

Hyunwoo was so angry. Not at Changkyun, but his father. How could he hurt his son and his wife like that?

Changkyun could tell what going through Hyunwoo’s head.

‘’It’s fine. As long as I don’t aggravate him, he promised he wouldn’t hurt mom anymore.’’

‘’Bullshit. You and your mom have been suffering for years. He won’t stop, and you know that.’’

‘’It’s not like we can do anything about it, only endure. I’ll take the punches, so mom doesn’t have to get hurt, I don’t mind.’’

It hurt Hyunwoo so much. He has no clue how to help him. All he can do is just be there and heal is wounds.

Changkyun didn’t even realize that there were tears rolling down his cheeks.

Hyunwoo however noticed, and he pulled him against his chest, hugging him close. It was enough for Changkyun to open the floodgates.

He cried out his soul. There was no end to the tears.

‘’Sometimes I want to end it all.’’ Changkyun said in between sobs.

When Hyunwoo heard that, his heart stopped. Fear took over him. He hugged Changkyun even tighter. Just then and there he decided, he will always be there for him.

 

The sobbing stopped slowly. Hyunwoo noticed that Changkyun had fell asleep in his arms. He didn’t want to disturb his sleep, and he looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. Like all the problems seemed to be nonexistent.

 

‘’Hyunwoo…’’ Changkyun mumbled in his sleep, there was a smile on his face.

Hyunwoo was alert when he heard Changkyun speak. His stomach felt light and he didn’t know why. And he really liked that feeling.

 

 

 

Changkyun had to go to his grandparents for the summer, he had no say in this.

On one hand, he gets to get away from his father. On the other, he doesn’t want to be away from Hyunwoo.

 

I the middle of the summer, he lost contact with Hyunwoo, no calls, no messages, nothing. And he didn’t know what to think of that really. He figured he’d kick Hyunwoo’s ass for it and go back to be the way they were.

 

He had to go back home sooner than planned, when he got a call from his aunt.

Her mom had killed herself.

The first place Changkyun went to was Hyunwoo’s house because he needed him now more than ever, but the place was empty. Like no one had ever lived there.

 

That was the day, Changkyun’s life stopped.


	2. Chapter 2

**4 years later**

 

Changkyun was working full-time in her aunt’s shop.

 

‘’Take a break will you, your aunt wouldn’t want you to overwork yourself like that. I’ll stack these boxes myself.’’ his co-worker, Jihun said.

‘’I’m fine.’’ Changkyun assured him and kept working.

‘Aishh, kids these days.’’ He smiled, running a hand through his freshly bleached hair.

‘’Mid-life crisis came early I see.’’ Changkyun said and pointed at Jihun’s hair.

‘’I’m only 26 what the hell?’’ Jihun punched Changkyun on the shoulder lightly, laughing.

‘’Could have fooled me.’’ The younger quickly walked away from the on-coming wrath of Jihun. Hints of a forming smile on his face.

Few more words were exchanged between the two of them, and then they continued to work in silence until the end of their shift.

 

Changkyun has been on this job for a couple of years now. Ever since he moved in with his aunt.

Every now and then he works other jobs when he gets tired of this, and then comes back to this shop.

His aunt doesn’t mind, he is glad Changkyun is trying out different things, getting experience in different fields. There are moments when it looks like life might have gotten back into Changkyun, even for a second. So as long as there is even a little bit of shine in Changkyun’s eyes, she will support him in his decisions.

He looks passive in life. Like he was stuck in one moment that keeps repeating over and over.

She thinks it’s because of his mother.

 

‘’Changkyun, do you have any plans for what you want to do in life? I doubt working for me in my shop is something you want to do for the rest of your life.’’ Changkyun’s aunt asked him during dinner. She has asked that before many times.

He really doesn’t want to talk about it.

He never had any dreams or goals to begin with. Although these days he is sometimes rapping in this underground club near the city border. He is pretty good to be honest. The others love his dark aura that shows in his verses. Maybe he can make a career out of it. It’s not his dream or anything, but he likes it enough.

‘’I just don’t want you to one day wake up and regret your life.’’ She continued to talk.

Changkyun knows she means well. She and his uncle both are worried for his future.

‘’I will think about it auntie.’’ Changkyun said, in hopes to ease her mind and to make the conversation end there.

 

After the dinner Changkyun laid down in his bed, every bone in his body aching. It was a long shift and a lot of heavy lifting and moving around in general. Of course, it takes a toll on him. But once summer is over, things will get easier.

 He put in the earphones and stared at a ceiling, deep in his thoughts, until the silence became too overwhelming and he put some music from his playlist. The smooth instrumentals taking over his mind with every soft note, relaxing him more and more until his heart beat had slowed down.

_Every time the weather was sunny, Changkyun got the urge to skip class. This time they went to a park he knows Hyunwoo loves. He doesn’t particularly care where they are, he just wants to be with him._

_The park they were in was really beautiful and had this nice calm vibe to it, totally Hyunwoo’s taste, although he might not look like it._

_Changkyun laid his head in Hyunwoo’s lap._

_‘’I should charge you for using me as your pillow.’’ Hyunwoo said, but he didn’t push him away._

_‘’Can I get a friend-discount?’’_

_‘’In business there are no friends.’’ Hyunwoo answered._

_‘’Damn you are brutal.’’ Changkyun closed his eyes and sulked._

_Hyunwoo poked his cheeks. ‘’Aww don’t be like that, what are you, a kid? This 17-year-old big baby.’’_

_‘’These are some hurtful words man.’’ Changkyun said, but his face didn’t match the words._

_They sat there under the trees for a quite a while._

_Not many words were spoken between the two. The silence has always been comfortable._

_It was Changkyun who broke the silence._

_‘’Hey what are you going to do after graduation?’’ Changkyun asked. He has been thinking about this a lot lately._

_‘’I don’t know. What about you?’’_

_Changkyun was silent._

_‘’Whatever it is, I hope I can always be with you.’’ He said, but quickly turned his head away from him._

_‘’Me too.’’ Hyunwoo smiled when he said that and ruffled Changkyun’s hair._

‘’Hyunwoo you fucking liar.’’ Changkyun whispered to no one in his room, pulled out the earphones aggressively and threw them across the room, it hit the wall.

And stared at the spot where the earphones fell.

Why did he have to reminisce now? It’s been years.

Hyunwoo probably has forgotten all about him.

It’s only him, who can’t seem to move on.

There was a notification sound coming from his phone that dragged him out of his mind.

 

Wanna get some drinks- jihun

 

It’s not like Changkyun has anything else to do. He let out a sigh and started to get ready after letting his friend know that he will meet him in a bit.

 

 

‘’Lately you look more down than usual. I’m worried about you. I don’t see you ever hang out with anyone besides me.’’ Jihun looked sadly at his friend.

‘’I have friends! Just last week I was practicing rapping with Jooheon.’’ Changkyun quickly said.

He is not that pathetic that his only friend is his co-worker.

‘’Riiight, how come have I never met any of them.’’

‘’Why do I need to introduce my friends to you?’’

‘’You are like my little brother, I can’t help but feel the need to look after you.’’

 

The truth is that ever since Hyunwoo was gone from his side, he started to put a distance between everyone and himself.

Hyunwoo took more with him than anyone could guess.

He sometimes spots Hoseok and Hyungwon on the streets, but he never goes up to them to talk and catch up. In fact, he avoids them like plague. Especially Hoseok, because the other man was pretty close to Hyunwoo as well. And he is afraid he wants to talk about Hyunwoo, which Changkyun would rather avoid.

Minhyuk sometimes tries to hit him up, but to no avail. Even Kihyun tried at the beginning. But that didn’t work out either.

The truth is that Hyunwoo was the glue that held that odd group together. And without him, Changkyun didn’t see any appeal in trying to keep in touch with any of them, because none of them were Him.

None of them made Changkyun feel alive like Hyunwoo did.

The fact that he is somewhat friendly with Jihun, counts as a miracle in Changkyun’s book. Maybe because he doesn’t have any connection with Hyunwoo, that makes is easier to tolerate his existence.

Because when he sees the others from his school, he sees traces of Hyunwoo in them.

 

They’ve been sitting in the booth for an hour or so. Changkyun sipping his drink slowly, looking around the place every now and then and Jihun talking something that sounds like buzzing in his ears.

It’s not like he is being deliberately rude, it’s just, kind of happens when someone talks to him. He sort of zones out.

Only Hyunwoo had his attention.

 

Changkyun just came from the bathroom and sat down when he heard it. He heard the laughter.

He could recognize it from anywhere, it used to be one of his favorite sounds.

He hoped that he heard wrong, but he still looked around, just in case.

And he spotted a tall figure standing across the room.

He was well built, more than Changkyun remembers but he could still tell who this man was.

‘’We gotta leave, right now.’’ Changkyun said urgently, grabbed his jacket and made his way out of the bar, confused Jihun walking after him.

Changkyun’s heart was beating out of his chest, panic taking over him. He hoped Hyunwoo didn’t notice him.

‘’What was that all about?’’ Jihun asked finally.

‘’Sorry man, I’m not feeling good, going to head home. I’ll make it up for you some time.’’

‘’Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.

_He’s not wrong._

 

 

Changkyun actually didn’t feel like going home.

He started walking in a random direction, until he realized he was walking on the street he last walked on years ago.

There were hardly any cars driving at this time. He walked past the house he spent the majority of his time.

The last time he saw this place, it was dark and empty, now it looks like someone is living there, the lights are turned on in the living room.

Wondering what kind of people live there now. Did they renovate the place? Did they remove the gibberish he and Hyunwoo carved into the wall behind the bed one night when they were high on sugar? Changkyun’s sweet tooth was something else, and when he was eating sweets, so did Hyunwoo.

There is one that says ‘’son changkyun and im hyunwoo’’ inside a heart. Changkyun thought it would be funny. If someone asked if his heart felt weird about it, well he would say no.

That place held happy so many happy memories. It was his safe haven. When things got bad, that’s where he ran to, to feel like he matters to the world.

But now when he thinks about it all, it has a bittersweet taste to it.

 

Changkyun kept walking. The sky was clear, and despite living in the city, he could still spot some stars in the vast darkness. Some of them were blinking, they looked lonely.

He feels like that too.

 

 

_‘’I see your other half is missing again Changkyun.’’ Minhyuk mocked him._

_Changkyun looked at the empty seat in front of him._

_It feels odd to not have Hyunwoo near him._

_He was a constant presence, he never realized that until this very moment, how much they are always in each other spaces._

_ ‘’the next time I see you I’ll drop kick your dumb ass – ck _

_ ‘’is this how you treat a sick person. Wow betrayed. – hyunwoo _

_ ‘’you are sick? Why didn’t you tell me, fuck you, suffer alone now.- ck _

_Changkyun sent the message and smiled at his phone when he read what Hyunwoo had written. God he can’t wait for the school day to end and go over to his place._

_ ‘’I miss you – hyunwoo _

__

_‘’HELLO IT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PERSON IN THE WORLD!’’ Changkyun yelled when he stepped into Hyunwoo’s room._

_‘’Is it Rain?’’_

_‘’Fuck you I’m leaving and I’m taking all of these treats with me that I specifically bought to my Favourite best friend, but I guess he isn’t here right now so bye.’’ Changkyun got up from the bed and started to leave, only to be pulled back by the other boy._

_‘’What is this I am hearing about my favourite person bringing me snacks, hmmm..’’ Hyunwoo mused and hugged Changkyun._

_‘’Who said that?’’ Changkyun faked being confused. But then handed a bag over to Hyunwoo. It contained all of his favourite snacks._

_‘’You are the best.’’_

_‘’I know I am, so why am I hanging out with the worst?’’ Changkyun raised an eyebrow, looking at Hyunwoo._

_‘’I think it’s the other way around. Ugh, I’ve been so bored these past few days. Did you get into trouble without me there?’’_

_‘’I get into more trouble with you there, let’s be realistic.’’_

_Hyunwoo went through the bag Changkyun gave him, checking out what he had brought him._

_‘’It was lonely.’’ Changkyun mumbled._

_‘’What?’’ Hyunwoo asked, he didn’t hear what the other had said, because of the noise the plastic bag made_

_‘’Nothing. So, any idea when you’ll be back on your feet?’’ Chankgyun ignored Hyunwoo’s question. He was sure as hell not going to say it again._

Changkyun didn’t know how long he had been walking around the city, an hour? Two?  More? He Doesn’t care. Even though his hands are frozen and legs have started to hurt, and tiredness is taking hold of him.

 

He has been thinking about Hyunwoo a lot lately and he needs to stop.

No use of crying over spilled milk at this point.

He wants to let go of Hyunwoo so bad, to stop hurting.

But he can’t.

Maybe if he had an explanation to all of this, it would be easier. The confusion and mystery of his disappearance from his life, is what eats Changkyun every night. He just wants to know why. That’s all. So, he can move on.

He has ran many different scenarios in his head, one worse than the other. He didn’t also have any one to ask questions from, and every time he called Hyunwoo’s phone, the voice said this number doesn’t exist anymore.

But he still kept it in his contact list.

 

He got out his phone to look at the time.

His phone wallpaper was an old selfie he took with Hyunwoo behind the school’s gym building. There was a blue flower behind his ear. Changkyun put it there as a joke, but it oddly fit him. He looked cute. But then again, Changkyun thought, Hyunwoo looked cute all the time.

He was staring at the picture for a bit. Looking at his innocent smile. He doesn’t smile like that anymore.

How many times has he hovered over the delete button on this picture.

But he never had the courage to complete it.

_Are you sure?_

_[Yes.] **[No.]**_

 

Maybe the man he saw in the bar earlier wasn’t Hyunwoo. He just thought it was, because he is remembering good times.

Changkyun let out a frustrated sigh.

This day just won’t seem to end.

Ever since Hyunwoo started to pop up in his head, everything seems to be off with him.

 

Changkyun decided to go into the convenience store before heading home. His aunt must be worried by now. He is never out late like that. Not having much of a social life, Changkyun was almost always home in the evenings.

He wanted to buy a snack, chocolate, candy, anything as long as it is sweet. Then go home and sleep, and maybe the next day he will be back to normal.

It was near midnight and there weren’t many people in the store. There was the cashier, he looked like he would rather sleep on the counter right now instead of existing.

Near the drinks there was a mother with her little kid, who looked like he had been crying before Changkyun stepped into the place, because the mother was wiping away the tears on the kid’s face.

And a man facing the sweets section, the place there Changkyun wanted to go. He started to walk towards it, thinking in his head what does he want to buy, and should he get something for his aunt as well.

He noticed there was something on the floor when the other man started to walk away from the shelf.

‘’Excuse me sir, you dropped….’’ Changkyun picked up the wallet and saw a picture in the wallet of him and Hyunwoo. He hasn’t seen this picture in years. Hyunwoo had the only copy of it.

Someone’s hand took the wallet from his hand.

‘’Thank you.’’ The voice said.

Changkyun stood still. Staring in his eyes.

The man finally looked at the person he thanked and ran out of the store at the speed of light before Hyunwoo could say anything.

Hyunwoo processed the whole thing for a second and left the store in hurry.

‘’Wait. Changkyun!’’ He yelled after the disappearing figure and ran after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoo~ can they just sit down and Talk, Chngkyun i beg u, like god damn bro


	3. Chapter 3

_Two figures were running on the busy street, sneaking through the masses of people, bumping into them. Some of them cursed at the two young boys, others just gave a glance at them disapproving of the young guys antics._

_‘’We gotta lose them. Follow me.’’ Changkyun said, grinning from ear to ear. He looked at Hyunwoo, who was right behind him, he didn’t look amused at all, that much can Changkyun tell._

_Hyunwoo looked like he wanted to protest, but it’s not like he has any other choice. Someone needs to look after this idiot._

_Changkyun turned around the corner, off the familiar street and into the unknown._

_They stood there near the building, sneaking behind the corner, to see if the guys that were chasing them are still looking for them._

_‘’Find that fucking boy and bring him to me.’’ One of the older guys ordered his followers._

_The guys kept running forward and kept looking for them._

_Changkyun let out a sigh when he knew the threat has passed._

_‘’Daaaamn, that was a close call.’’ Changkyun laughed, feeling much lighter after all this trouble. He was trying to get his breath under control._

_‘’Changkyun WHAT DID YOU DO NOW?’’ Hyunwoo was gasping for air. Both because he just ran for his life and because he was ready to explode at Changkyun. Can he not get into all sorts of troubles all the damn time._

_‘’Ahh don’t be like that. Not my fault those greasy old men didn’t know their place.’’_

_‘’Changkyun. Were you just running away from some gang members.’’ Hyunwoo looked scandalized.  Geez, this boy gets into so much trouble._

_‘’I said sorry and kept walking when I bumped into that one dude who was wearing a wig. I was kind enough to not point it out and he touched me, looking at me like I was s fucking meal. What was I supposed to do? So, I kicked him in the stomach and ran. You didn’t have to follow me though. It was my problem.’’ Changkyun explained._

_‘’Changkyun, in case you don’t know. All of your problems are also my problems.’’ Hyunwoo stated that fondly._

_At least his friend had enough heart to look apologetic._

_‘’Are you okay though?’’ Hyunwoo asked much softer than he was earlier. He was checking Changkyun’s face for injuries, pushed the hair off of his eyes. His hair was a little bit too long, getting in the way of his eyes._

_‘’I’m fine, no need to make a fuzz about it.’’ Changkyun said and pushed Hyunwoo’s hand away._

_He didn’t like this sudden closeness for some reason. His heart was beating rapidly, and Changkyun blamed it on the running and adrenaline, because the alternative, well he didn’t like that other option._

_‘’Stay still.’’ Hyunwoo didn’t let that bother him and grabbed onto Changkyun’s shoulder to keep him in place._

_He let his hands roam around Changkyun’s upper chest and stomach, pressing slightly into the skin. To see if Changkyun flinches or not._

_He has been taking care of Changkyun’s injures for years, and in those years, he learned some tricks on how to find out if he is hiding his wounds and how bad are they._

_‘’You’ve got a scratch on your cheek and you are flinching at my touch, telling me that you are fine. Did you fight with those men or did you run away like you told me?’’_

_‘’Fuck… fine, one of those guys kicked me in the stomach._

_‘’Why do feel the need to lie to me.’’ Hyunwoo asked, he looked really hurt about that._

_‘’I don’t want you to worry about me, you have your own problems to deal with. Let’s go, the coast is clear.’’ Changkyun looked like he was in a hurry to get away, from either Hyunwoo or this place._

_Hyunwoo decided to keep his mouth close. He has told Changkyun several times that he just wants to help him carry his burdens. But looks like Changkyun still doesn’t believe that someone actually wants to take care of him. The rest of the world has hurt him enough times, healing from this will take time. Hyunwoo will care for him for the rest of his life._

_Hyunwoo was walking few steps behind Changkyun. There was a silence between them. Changkyun didn’t want to talk and Hyunwoo didn’t know what to say._

_After few minutes of walking, Hyunwoo noticed that Changkyun was limping a little, leaning a little more on the left leg._

_(God Changkyun, why won’t you ever tell me if you are hurting.)_

_Hyunwoo took few big steps and stopped in front of Changkyun, his back turned towards him. He slouched down a little._

_‘’Get on my back.’’ Hyunwoo demanded, leaving no room for a no._

_Changkyun knows not to argue with Hyunwoo in this moment._

_Hyunwoo linked his arms under Changkyun’s legs, that were wrapped around his waist._

_Changkyun was so glad Hyunwoo couldn’t see him, because he was probably blushing as red as a tomato in that moment. This was just so embarrassing.  Even though he sort of likes getting piggyback rides from him._

_‘’Don’t get into trouble if you don’t want to be put in such awkward situations.’’_

_‘’How do you know what I am feeling?’’ Changkyun was pouting._

_‘’Your face is against my skin I can feel it burn.’’ Hyunoo laughed whole heartedly. Which made Changkyun blush even more._

_‘’Fuck you. I’m getting off.’’ Changkyun said and let go of Hyunwoo’s shoulders._

_‘’That’s gross, do that at your home, not on me.’’_

_‘’YAH YOU CRAZY BASTARD I’ll come all over your back if you don’t let me go.’’ Changkyun was grumpy, that much was obvious._

_But Hyunwoo didn’t let that bother him, he continued walking, slight smile playing on his lips._

_He liked the closeness of his friend. The warmth he felt coming off of his body, reminded him that Changkyun is alive and okay._

_Hyunwoo and Changkyun were walking to school together, like they do every morning. Even if they hate school, and have no plans for the future, they still need to go._

_‘’I should have stayed at home. The teachers will ask about my injury and I could get into more trouble. More than I already am. It’s a miracle I haven’t been kicked out yet, because of all the shit I’ve pulled. I am a stain in the school’s reputation.’’ Changkyun was talking while scrolling through his phone, not looking where he is walking._

_‘’Then stop?’’ Hyunwoo said and pulled Changkyun lightly on the left, he was walking a little too close to the road._

_‘’Oh man you are fucking hilarious. Where will I put my teenage angst then? I am not exactly going around fucking girls to get rid of my pent-up frustration.’’_

_‘’Why limit yourself to girls?’’ Hyunwoo asked. There was no second meaning behind his words. That’s what he tells himself._

_Changkyun put away his phone. The movements seemed way too slow for Hyunwoo’s liking. Oh fuck why did he say that._

_‘’Aww that’s so cute Hyunwoo-ssi, my little baby.’’ Changkyun was clearly mocking Hyunwoo. ‘’Come here let me give you a smooch and then we can go ride off into the sunset, I’ll promise I’ll stop my criminal life when we get married. I’m not gay, but your cooking just might make me into one.’’ Changkyun was joking and laughing as he kept talking._

_Hyunwoo looked at Changkyun fondly, with a hint of sadness in his eyes, but he doesn’t know why it hurts that Changkyun talks like that._

_Changkyun hadasked about food, and making plans for what to do after school, whether to go out to eat or just hang around the city like always. Hyunwoo was in favour of eating, as usual._

_Their discussion was brought to a sudden end._

_‘’That’s a sick bruise on your cheek. So, did you get Hyunwoo in trouble again?’’ Hoseok asked, eyeing Changkyun up and down._

_‘’I am the one with injuries here and you are asking me if I got Hyunwoo into trouble. I am the one suffering.’’ Changkyun slumped down on his desk._

_The teacher was talking something about today’s lesson, but he zoned out like always. He thinks he doesn’t need to know any of that. He has no plans of going to the university anyways._

_He didn’t even realize that someone was talking to him before he fainted._

_When Changkyun opened his eyes, he didn’t recognize the place he was at, everything was too birght for his liking._

_He got into a sitting position._

_‘’Don’t move.’’ Hyunwoo pushed Changkyun down slightly._

_‘’What happened?’’ He was so disorientated._

_‘’You collapsed in the class._

_Changkyun has never seen Hyunwoo this worried and scared than he did right now._

_‘’You need to start taking better care of yourself Changkyun.’’_

_‘’I have you for that.’’_

_‘’What happens when I am not there. I won’t be around all the time.’’_

_‘’What are you trying to say here?’’ Changkyun was getting agitated. He doesn’t like this. The unsettling feeling of being left behind made a home in his heart._

_‘’Nothing, I just want you to be more careful. When you fell, it felt like it all happened in slow motion and I was so scared, and I didn’t know what to do. ‘’_

_Hyunwoo looked like he wanted to say something else, but he was interrupted by the arrival of the school nurse._

_‘’Take it easy for the next few days and rest. I don’t like the bruises on your body, but I am not going to tell anything to the homeroom teacher if you don’t want me to. ‘’ The nurse said before letting Changkyun go._

_‘’Broo, you okay? I heard you went into the nurse’s office.’’_

_Jooheon swung his arm around his friend._

_‘’Sup?’’ he greeted Hyunwoo and turned his attention back to Changkyun._

_‘’I’ll be borrowing him for lunch. And off he went with the other boy._

_Neither Changkyun or Jooheon saw the glare on Hyunwoo’s face._

_‘’You know if you keep scowling like that, it will become permanent.’’_

_‘’C’mon Minhyuk, don’t be an ass, can’t you see he is already in enough pain. The boy he loves walking under someone else’s arm.’’Hoseok said jokingly._

_Hyunwoo said nothing and walked away as the distance between him and Changkyun grew._

_All he wanted to do was reach out to Changkyun and keep him next to him._

 

 

 

‘’Kyunnie please wait.’’ Hyunwoo shouted, when he finally caught up with the other man.

Changkyun stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around slowly, gathering strength to look at Hyunwoo. He really doesn’t look at him, afraid of absolutely everything. He hates himself for being so weak. If only Hyunwoo never appeared.

‘’You DON’T get to call me like that anymore, Son Hyunwoo.’’ He almost yelled. The coldness in his voice hurt more than Hyunwoo ever could imagine.

Hyunwoo was ready for anger, tears, anything, but not this. There was almost no emotion in his voice, but Changkyun’s eyes have always betrayed him. Hyunwoo could see his eyes shine in the streetlights. It was tearing him apart. Those tears were there because of him.

Hyunwoo stepped closer to him. Changkyun looked at him up and down, analyzing and thinking of his next step.

He wanted to keep walking, he knew he did. But his legs refused to move. Every cell in his body was screaming to get closer to Hyunwoo, like he was back in high school.

Changkyun finally opened his mouth.

’You should have been there you bastard! I only had you. I didn’t have anyone else, you were the only good thing in my life. Didn’t you miss me at all…’’ The sentence came out in sobs, as Changkyun tried to keep himself together and not to start crying.

‘’I am so sorry Changkyun.’’ Hyunwoo looked at the boy in front of him, speechless, his own eyes swelling up in tears. There was nothing he could say.

‘’You just left, didn’t I deserve a good bye or was I really nothing to you?’’

All the words Hyunwoo wanted to say were stuck in his throat

He wanted to say how much he missed Changkyun, his best friend. How lonely he has been without him. He wants to start again.

‘’Answer me! Or am I not even worthy of an explanation.’’ Changkyun’s broken voice startled Hyunwoo and broke his heart even more. It was like someone had stabbed him in the heart and kept twisting the knife deeper.

The silence seemed to stretch into forever.

Changkyun wiped away the salty tears that had rolled down his cheek and took one more look at the man in front of him, before walking away.

Hyunwoo didn’t know what came over him, but he grabbed onto Changkyun’s arm and pulled him into his embrace. He is not going to let Changkyun get away again.

Changkyun belongs by his side.

This startled Changkyun who stood there frozen. His mind kept telling him to push Hyunwoo away and leave, but his heart has always overruled over everything when it came to Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo held him close, both arms around Changkyun’s smaller frame.

Changkyun’s face was facing Hyunwoo’s chest, Changkyun inhaled the scent.

_Ah, he still smells the same, like home and safety._

**And it hurts.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goodddd Kyun is frustrating me PLS T_T

**Author's Note:**

> yoo~~ i would die for showkyun, thank you for coming to my showkyuntalk


End file.
